Chapter Ninety-One: Artistic Flair

Wu Ning, you’re done for! Two lifetimes as a human, and now at sixteen years old, you actually got your pants pulled down and were spanked—your shame has reached all the way to Empress Wu Zetian.

And Zhou Xing truly knew how to hold back—twenty strokes, enough not to cause internal injury, while still maintaining peace and considering the emotions of both the Empress Dowager and the Holy Empress.

So aside from some welts and bruises, nothing serious happened.

But poor Wu Ning, with the New Year approaching, it looked like he might have to spend it flat on his stomach.

Wu Ning couldn’t understand it. Why beat me when I was just trying to help? I was working for your family, solving your problems, and yet no reward of fifty gold coins…

Fine, forget the fifty gold.

Even if the old lady didn’t reward me, why hit me?

…

After delivering the imperial decree, Zhou Xing left the city once the punishment was carried out.

As for the familiar look Wu Ning once had, well, that was gone now—his body was covered in welts and bruises, and any faint impression remained vanished upon seeing him again.

Once Zhou Xing left, Master Zu arrived.

The old man’s face turned pale with fright; he didn’t know which nerve Wu Ning had struck to offend the Holy Empress.

Half fearful, half heartbroken, he hurriedly sent Wu Li up the mountain to invite Daoist Xiao to examine Wu Ning’s sore behind.

But when Daoist Xiao heard it was just a spanking, he couldn’t be bothered to come and instead sent Meng Cangsheng to apply some healing salve.

He left behind a remark that when Wu Li brought it back and learned it, it nearly infuriated Wu Ning to death:

“Serves you right! You brought it on yourself!”

……

——————————

“Ouch!!!!”

“Pain, pain, pain…”

Wu Ning’s cries echoed throughout the entire Xuncui Residence.

At that moment, Wu the Ninth lay face down on the kang, his exposed pale backside now mottled purple.

Meng Cangsheng applied medicine while teasing him, “Alright, enough with the wailing. It’s just a spanking, after all.”

“You don’t know anything!” Wu Ning cursed through clenched teeth. “Damn it! If I ever become an official, the first thing I’ll abolish is corporal punishment!”

“Heh heh,” Meng Cangsheng said with a dry laugh, “Why abolish it? Even if you do, you can’t undo the punishment you just received.”

Wu Ning yelled, “It’s inhumane!”

“Huh?” Meng Cangsheng paused. “What do you mean by ‘inhumane’?”

“You wouldn’t understand!” Wu Ning replied dismissively.

Isn’t it? This is both psychological and physical torment!

Damn it, sixteen years old, and someone publicly pulled down my pants and spanked me…

Luckily, I’m mentally strong; otherwise, I’d be scarred for life.

“Why did they spank you? Have you figured that out?” Meng Cangsheng asked.

He himself couldn’t understand why Empress Wu suddenly decided to punish Wu Ning with those twenty strokes.

“I don’t know,” Wu Ning shook his head. “Maybe it was a warning.”

“But that doesn’t make sense.” Wu Ning was conflicted, speaking freely since there was no one else around.

“Is the old Empress really that petty?”

“I only wanted to help her get Taiping out of this mess. She has no reason to go out of her way, travel so far, and pick a fight with a kid like me over something so trivial, right?”

“Hm?” Meng Cangsheng frowned. “Get Taiping out? What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Wu Ning said, shifting to ease his pain.

“Beforehand, I tested Taiping. She didn’t want to meddle in the palace intrigues. But if she got involved in the Wu-Li affair, it’d be hard for her to extricate herself later.”

“So when handling this matter, I was extra careful and blamed everything on the Holy Empress.”

“I thought even if she saw through my little trick, Taiping was still her daughter and wouldn’t hold it against me. But I didn’t expect…”

“Heh heh,” Meng Cangsheng chuckled dryly after hearing this. “I never thought Wu the Ninth had a soft side.”

“What soft side?” Wu Ning’s cheeks flushed; he felt uneasy being complimented by the Daoist.

He buried his face between his arms and said calmly, “It was just an afterthought.”

Sighing, he rubbed his face with his big hands. “Don’t you think we should be consistent? Can’t just take care of one end and neglect the other.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

“Why tell her?” Wu Ning looked up and glanced toward the door. “She’s always so cheerful and happy. Isn’t that better?”

“Telling her would only add more worries.”

There was another reason Wu Ning didn’t mention.

As a transmigrator, transforming a person into someone entirely different from historical records is far more satisfying than playing the prophet and simply adapting to events.

Take Princess Taiping—everyone knows how powerful and vicious she will become. If Wu Ning, knowing this in advance, had relied on or avoided her, how boring would that be?

Changing the ambitious, venomous Taiping into a naive paragon of obedience and virtue—that’s true skill.

Besides, maybe that’s what Taiping herself wants!

……

Meng Cangsheng had a different insight after listening to Wu Ning.

Putting aside Wu the Ninth’s unpredictable shifts between saint and demon, just from this matter alone…

“I remembered something you said once.”

“Huh?” Wu Ning was surprised. “What did I say?”

Meng Cangsheng recalled, “There’s no such thing as peaceful days in this world; it’s just that someone carries the burden for you as you move forward…”

He looked at Wu Ning. “So, this spanking—you took it for Taiping.”

“No matter what, I’m grateful on behalf of my senior sister.”

Wu Ning: “……”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Wu the Ninth was unsettled. “I’m not used to you speaking like that. We’re just buddies who tease each other, not… soulmates, okay!”

“Hahaha!” Meng Cangsheng laughed heartily.

Having known Wu Ning for so long, he understood exactly what Wu Ning meant by “buddies” and “soulmates.”

“Yes, buddies, definitely not soulmates!”

Before he could finish, the door creaked open.

Princess Taiping, who had been standing outside for some time, pushed the door and entered.

“What do you mean by ‘buddies’? And what are ‘soulmates’?”

Oh, damn!!

Wu Ning, seeing Taiping, instinctively tried to pull up his pants.

But the garment snagged, and after struggling, he still couldn’t cover his backside.

“Y-you! How did you get in here?” His face turned bright red. “This is… embarrassing!”

Taiping stood at the doorway, quietly observing Wu Ning’s predicament, then smiled.

“I’m nine years older than you. In my eyes, you’re still just a child. What’s embarrassing about that?”

Wu Ning panicked, “T-then, you can’t just barge into someone’s room for no reason!”

“Go out, go out.”

Finally, he pulled his pants up. But his sore backside made standing or sitting unbearable, so he lay down.

Pouting, he said, “Your Highness, I’ve had the worst luck today. Could you please give me some face?”

Taiping said nothing and slowly sat on the edge of the kang.

“Does it still hurt?”

Her sudden question left Wu Ning puzzled. “It’s just a few strikes. No big deal!”

Pfft!

Taiping burst out laughing. “I don’t know who you are, but your screams could be heard all the way to Fangzhou City.”

“Hey!” Wu Ning objected, “That’s not fair! Why expose my shame?”

“…”

Taiping said nothing more.

“Thank you, Ninth Brother!”

Wu Ning was momentarily caught off guard. “Huh? For what?”

Taiping smiled faintly and repeated what Meng Cangsheng had just said:

“There’s no such thing as peaceful days in this world; it’s just that someone carries the burden for you as you move forward.”

“……”

Wu Ning fell silent.

Sister…

That’s a bit too poetic for you.

……