081 Crab Brother’s Casual Insult

Regarding the contract for the introduction of the Korean version of “Masked Calabash Hero,” Mount Geumgang Entertainment decided to provisionally title it “Calabash Agents” or “Fortune Agents” during translation to better suit domestic preferences.

From the “Creative Ability” side, there were no real issues. As long as it made money—so long as that ten million plus was credited to “Creative Ability”—the rest was mere detail.

Especially since the boss had lavishly praised the professionalism and passion of their Korean partners through public media channels, this was hardly worth mentioning at all.

Combined with the prior order from the Sanjiang Media Group, this wave made “Creative Ability” an overnight sensation.

And the boss of “Creative Ability,” Li Jie, trended for another reason altogether.

“Damn! So the song ‘In This World Only Mothers Are Good’ was actually written by Calabash Hero!”

“I can’t believe it—the original composer of ‘Vast as the Sky’ is some macho guy. Shouldn’t someone like that be writing a song called ‘Muscle King’ or something?”

“Wow, I thought this guy was long gone. Haven’t heard his name in a decade, assumed he’d faded into obscurity, but here he is making a comeback…”

“Forget that—what’s truly insane is that this guy won six gold medals at the university games across six provinces and cities, breaking multiple national records. According to Sports Express, as long as he doesn’t break his legs, he’s a shoo-in for the Olympic decathlon, with an 86% chance of winning gold.”

“An iron beast…”

“Wait, are orphanage meals really that good these days? Did they swap out his formula for protein powder when he was a kid?”

Year-end is always the season for entertainment companies to battle for trending topics, fighting from late December right through the New Year without pause.

Just getting on the trending list starts at eighty thousand per day, with no upper limit.

Anyone with a new release will want to play it safe and scope out the competition, then coordinate with others to avoid clashing with big names.

So, the trending spots are genuinely hot—hot enough to burn.

Yet, Li the Student, Boss Li, Mr. Li, the Masked Brother, Calabash Hero, and Jianyi-91 all took turns dominating the charts, leaving so-called “professional marketers” who thought they had modern entertainment promotion figured out utterly confused.

The twenty-plus online promotion firms in East China all found themselves questioning their life choices.

Utter financial loss!

But things weren’t as dire in East China as in the north, where a large entertainment and cultural marketing company—nicknamed the “Eastern Depot of the Beijing Circle”—had just orchestrated a porridge promotion for “Heavenly King Wang” for the Laba Festival. But then Li Jie’s outrageous stunts stole the spotlight, leaving “Heavenly King Wang’s” porridge to sour all the way to the Lantern Festival. Even in the coldest days, the porridge had gone bad—a sign of ill fortune.

No wonder fans of “Heavenly King Wang” were biting back at the so-called “Crab Brother” under Li Jie’s account, unable to stomach the defeat.

Little did these fans realize that Li Jie’s fans were all anti-fans—relentlessly sharp-tongued, tireless, and, above all, utterly unrepentant in their trolling.

No matter how fans of “Heavenly King Wang” insulted “Crab Brother,” his own followers remained unfazed, replying with a string of “Yes, yes, yes,” then posting an unflattering photo highlighting “Heavenly King Wang’s” deep nasolabial folds.

Next came a shot of his unbleached, yellowed teeth.

And then a meme-worthy, unhinged smile—gums on full display, which, to Li Jie’s eyes, put even Kana Hanazawa to shame.

Whenever Li Jie opened his “Next Wave” microblog, his vision would darken. Not a single fan ever defended him; instead, “Crab Brother” was subject to open mockery. If the bar wasn’t high enough, the “Ten-Year Anti-Fan” club would step in to demonstrate how to really insult someone.

Some even stormed “Heavenly King Wang’s” social media to make a mess.

They launched a soul-searching question: if the celestial idol gets constipated, would she make the same twisted face as a husky straining on the leash?

This sent “Heavenly King Wang’s” rabid fans into meltdown, hastily insisting that goddesses don’t poop at all…

And as always, Li Jie—who’d done nothing—was bombarded with a fresh round of insults.

Every time he checked the “Ten-Year Anti-Fan” group, even those on the brink of quitting would rally for one last round of celebration. They had no other hobby but roasting “Crab Brother.” It was no cure for anything, but it sure felt good.

“Hey, hey, look what I found! Crab Brother actually sold ‘Masked Calabash Hero’ to Korea. That’s pretty impressive.”

“Who the hell asked you? Did you get a kickback from his crab roe or something?!”

“Tsk, what’s the rush?”

Then the notorious instigator, “Utility Pole Scoundrel,” dropped an entertainment news link from Korea: Mount Geumgang Entertainment was having an internal dispute—some board members wanted to shelve “Calabash Agents.”

“Wait, what the hell is ‘Calabash Agents’?”

“Probably just a different title. But judging by the report, Young Master Yang has made his move?”

“One ‘ahegao’ from him and ‘Heavenly King Wang’s’ hand-cooked Laba porridge was ruined. I bet he really hates Crab Brother.”

“Come to think of it, if Young Master Yang was really injured by Crab Brother, then did Crab Brother really spend five hours shuttling from Huating to Luzhou just to go after him, accomplishing nothing else that day?”

“It’s one black mark after another—Crab Brother is truly a world-class idiot.”

“No kidding. No one with a normal IQ would pull something like that.”

“But Young Master Yang really has disappeared. I heard he’s in the special care ward at Renshou Hospital in Luzhou. No idea if the broken leg is true.”

“But isn’t Crab Brother afraid of revenge?”

“Are you brain-damaged? What’s he got to fear? He’s an orphan.”

“Shit, my bad—I forgot about Crab Brother’s natural-born advantage.”

“…”

That last line of ellipses was posted by Li Jie.

These anti-fans always found new ways to amuse themselves, never treating Li Jie as a real person—nor themselves, for that matter.

The moment he closed the group, the unread message count instantly soared past ninety-nine. Li Jie didn’t even need to look; he could imagine the explosive content with his mind’s eye.

With “ten-year old fans” like this, how was he supposed to build an entertainment empire?

What bad luck!

But now Li Jie had lost all interest in online hype. He was busy sorting out the IPTV terminal, and with money in hand, he was quick to acquire a software development company.

What a coincidence—whether Mount Geumgang Entertainment’s internal strife would lead to “Masked Calabash Hero” being shelved was none of his concern. He’d already sold it for seventy thousand per episode, half of which was his. With a million in hand, what was there to complain about? But the infighting had resulted in the firing of Mount Geumgang’s online business director and the entire software development team…

Poaching them was a must.

According to Korean non-compete clauses, they couldn’t work in the same industry domestically, but going abroad was a different story.

So Boss Li went straight to Vice President Lee Ik-seong, sticking to the principle of “never trouble two people for one task,” and asked him to demonstrate his authority once again.

Having pocketed over six million, Vice Principal Lee was certainly up to the task. With just one international call, right in front of Student Li, he arranged for the newly unemployed director and his development team to board a plane from Pyongyang to Jianye that very night.

And Student Li didn’t let Vice Principal Lee down, immediately pulling out his phone and posting on Weibo: “A warm welcome to Mr. Park In-yong, former Director of Online Business at Mount Geumgang Entertainment, who is joining the Creative Ability family!”

Meanwhile, in the special care ward at Renshou Hospital in Luzhou, General Manager Yang, stuck in bed with nothing to do, had set up an alternate account to follow “Innate Orphan Saint” Li Jie—on special alert, no less.

With a single “ding,” General Manager Yang promptly hurled his tablet across the room!