043 Heaven-defying Devotee

A Second Lord who only knows how to whimper, a Howling Heavenly Dog that never stops barking—the promotional team led by Lu Xiaoguan is finally hitting its stride.

Lu Xiaoguan is known for shooting quickly, and in order to save time, the male and female leads have been rushing from place to place. Both are rising stars with impressive momentum, popular idols, but the buzz around their on-screen romance is mediocre at best. It doesn’t compare to “Li Jie playing the dog” making it into the top ten trending searches on two platforms.

Though these are niche and subcultural sites, making it onto the trending list is proof that Li Jie’s fans are a force to be reckoned with.

Laughter fills the group chat.
“Hey, Crab Bro, when are you going to perform eating the moon in one bite?”
“I am the sun! Crab Bro, swallow me!”
“Fiery and bewildered… @Long Live Understanding, Crab Bro, stop pretending to be dead, I know you’re here!”
“Suck suck suck~~”
“Dog head/image.”
“Funny/image…”

The entire “Ten-Year Anti-Fan” group radiates joy, and the three thousand core fans are nearly ecstatic.

Li Jie has been hiding the fact that he’s playing the Howling Heavenly Dog, planning to show off first with “Masked Gourd Hero” and then gloss over the matter. But the online publicity for “Fairy Monkey” is so strong that his muscle-flexing pose to drive away the trolls from the Heavenly River has actually gotten more real clicks than the male and female leads' promotional videos.

Lu Xiaoguan even boosted the main leads' click and share rates tenfold, fearing the supporting cast might overshadow the stars.

Stealing the spotlight doesn’t just happen on screen; off-screen accidents can make it happen too. Right now, Li Jie’s “three thousand anti-fans” only want to hear him bark.

“Crab Bro, why are you so obedient? They ask you to play a dog, and you actually do it?”
“I solemnly declare, Crab Bro is mankind’s best friend!”
“Crab Bro, are you lifting your leg to pee now?”
“There’s a telegraph pole at my place, come pee here.”

An old fan posted a photo of a telegraph pole in the group.

“Pee on mine, it’s thick.”
“Incredible…”
“Nice.”

Ever since sharing the link to “Masked Gourd Hero: Power of Red,” Li Jie has played dead in the group, and every time he opens the chat app, he’s bombarded with mentions.

“Damn.”

After peeking at the screen a couple of times, he couldn’t bear the sight and closed the group, switched accounts, and sought comfort from Su Mengyao.

These days, Su Mengyao is having her period and feeling down. Her original plan was to drop out, get pregnant with a single shot, and then move on to the pregnancy phase—she wanted to experience the “expectant mother” play ahead of time.

But plans never keep up with changes; she didn’t conceive.

There’s still some good news, though. Her mother, blessed with the “Innate Parasite Saint Physique,” heard that her ex-father-in-law, freshly released from prison, is running for council again, so she’s thinking about getting back together with Su Jianping…

To keep up appearances, she even rented a courier station and conveniently opened an online shop selling “Masked Gourd Hero” merchandise.

The courier station was introduced by Su Jianping, the ultimate simp. His second convenience store is right next door, and he also works part-time at his ex-wife’s place.

The merchandise shop was arranged by Su Mengyao, her unlucky daughter. All she needs to do is confirm buyer information; packaging and shipping are handled by the warehouse. Her mother, the “Innate Parasite Saint Physique,” has nothing to do with it.

In short, all she needs to do is wait for the money to roll in.

Li Jie is speechless about Su Jianping, the king of simps. He’s seen people grovel, but this level is a rare masterpiece.

Fortunately, it doesn’t affect him, so he doesn’t care. Other people’s business isn’t worth meddling in.

There’s one benefit, at least—Su Mengyao can move out.

She’s rented a place next to the teachers’ apartments, with good security and environment.

“Brother Jie, what do you want for supper? There are fat beef slices in the fridge—how about hotpot?”

“I’m waiting for the rough models to print. I’ll bring some barbecue back later?”

“Order two extra skewers of rice cakes.”

Su Mengyao sent a little heart emoji and added, “Brother Jie, in a couple of days my aunt is coming from the capital to see my mom. She’s bringing lots of goodies—dried eggplant, dried beans, peach crisps and so on. Should I bring you some?”

“Do you want me to pick her up?”

“No, no, Mom will go. I also asked my aunt to get me a pair of talismans. We’ll see how they look—if they’re pretty, I’ll keep them; if not, never mind.”

Li Jie knows a bit about Su Mengyao’s maternal family. Her grandmother, actually, there are two; the biological one has passed away, and the current one is her grandfather’s second wife, who was also his student…

Su Mengyao’s mother may have the “Innate Parasite Saint Physique,” but her youthful beauty isn’t the only reason she passed the test with Su Yongzhi—it’s also because her grandfather was a professor in Porcelain City.

Before becoming councilman of Hidden Dragon District, Su Yongzhi made plenty of money speculating on modern crafts.

Whether he laundered money or not, Li Jie doesn’t know, but if you’re dealing in modern crafts, how could you not wash a bit of cash?

Election campaigns are expensive, especially in Jianye, a big city. A district council candidate needs to hold ten to twenty events—speeches, debates, street campaigns. Less than ten, and your chances are slim; ten to twenty events plus media promotion, online and offline, costs two to six million.

To advance further and contest a seat in the Three Rivers province, you’ll need ten million or more. In reality, elections in prosperous cities have long surpassed ten million, though officially the publicity is about half the real spending.

Without a campaign team and funding, Su Yongzhi couldn’t play this game.

So, either the Su family has money, or their relatives and friends do. It has to be one or the other.

From the look of things, Su Yongzhi’s old in-laws still have assets.

Working in the warehouse alongside the printer, chatting with Su Mengyao, Li Jie originally wanted to play a round of King of Glory, but the rough models were nearly finished, so he didn’t bother. Instead, he talked to Su Mengyao about her aunt, who’s coming tomorrow.

She sent a few photos…

Utterly ordinary.

Her features are nothing like Su Mengyao’s, though she looks quite young.

No need to pick her up or play host tomorrow—great.

But while waiting for barbecue on the way home, Su Jianping—the ultimate simp—called Li Jie: “Xiao Li, are you free tomorrow?”

“No, working overtime.”

“I was hoping you could help pick up Yao Yao’s aunt, she’s coming from the capital tomorrow.”

“I don’t know her, not going.”

“You and Yao Yao have already confirmed your relationship. You should meet her maternal family. Yao Yao’s grandfather is a university professor, an authority in crafts…”

“Don’t know, don’t want to know.”

“…”

Li Jie thought to himself: I just want to spend more nights with Yao Yao. Besides, Yao Yao has that Vis Alpha-type dependent personality disorder—what’s the point of all these extra steps?

And besides, Su Jianping clearly just wants to curry favor with his ex-wife—why drag me into it?

Ordinary women, no matter how pretty, to Li Jie are nothing but flawed beauty…