Chapter Twelve: Unforgettable Feelings

"Master Sui," Ye Qianchen, who stood beside him, called Sui Gaolang back to reality. Still lost in confusion, Sui Gaolang stared blankly at Ye Qianchen. Only after a moment did he grasp the situation, his expression unreadable as he nodded. "Your Highness, what did you just say? I didn't catch it."

Seeing Sui Gaolang so absent and forlorn, Ye Qianchen sighed quietly. He glanced at Ye Qianzhi, who met his gaze with understanding, and then turned back to Sui Gaolang. "Master Sui, I haven't said a word. Since we stepped out, you've been staring inside for nearly half a quarter of an hour."

Sui Gaolang forced a bitter smile, saying nothing more.

"Master Sui, I know it's hard to forget someone you love, but how difficult would it be for you two to truly be together?" Ye Qianchen thought it better to comfort him, so he continued, "My father has only two daughters. Linger, who has practiced martial arts since childhood and holds a military post, will have very limited choices in love—you must understand that. Muer has fewer restrictions, but after what you've done, my father could never marry her to you, even if he knows you love each other deeply."

Sui Gaolang understood. The moment he chose vengeance, their union became impossible. He had killed his own father’s wife and ruthlessly dispatched his two brothers, pushing them into the river one black, windy night and watching them gasp their last breaths. The cruelty of his deeds shocked even him. Though no evidence was ever found, everyone knew Sui Gaolang was responsible. To this day, within the Minister of Revenue's residence, save for appearances before outsiders, he and his father had not exchanged a single word in private.

Out in the world, he was called venomous and heartless, responsible for sundering a pair of lovers and disappointing all who once had hope in him. At home, his father marginalized him; no one spoke to him, and he drank alone in his room. Only during interrogations could he unleash the darkness within and find temporary relief from his pain. Through this long year, only thoughts of Ye Qianmu had carried him forward.

He recalled, after his injuries healed, returning to the Minister’s residence. At that time, he and Ye Qianmu had been together for nearly half a year. Ever since Ye Qianling had caught them after secretly following, they had stopped sneaking around. Sometimes, Ye Qianmu’s siblings would even join them, and those days had been filled with joy. In private, Sui Gaolang had once saved the niece of Sun Xiang, Chief of the Imperial Clan Court, earning Sun Xiang’s favor and being appointed as his deputy.

Outside the manor gates, several fine steeds stood tethered, signaling noble guests within. Sui Gaolang hesitated, torn between entering now or not. After half a year, he had finally summoned the courage to return. He had pondered endlessly whether to seek vengeance, but the answer was always the same. He could not let his mother’s murderer go unpunished; as long as he lived, the blood debt must be repaid.

"What are you doing here? This is the Minister of Revenue's estate—whose son are you, and what business brings you here?" The two gate guards, seeing his dignified bearing and features strikingly reminiscent of their master, dared not offend him. Years of experience told them this was no ordinary man.

"Good day. I am here to see your master. Would you announce me, please?" He took three pieces of silver, about fifty taels, from his pocket. The guard’s eyes lit up, and he grew more attentive, ushering Sui Gaolang to the doorway. "Young sir, our master is presently entertaining guests. I’ll go ask when he’ll be free."

The sight of silver made the guard almost giddy; he forgot he should not disturb his master at this time. As he was about to enter, he remembered something, hurried back, and asked delightedly, "Young sir, I still don’t know your name, or what business you have with our master?"

Sui Gaolang considered, then drew from his clothing a jade pendant with the Sui family crest, given to him by his father before his mother left. This would surely prove his identity.

The guard barely glanced at the token before running inside.

In less than half a quarter of an hour, Sui Ce strode out, excitement evident. Sui Gaolang, seeing his father’s joy, was moved despite himself.

"Father," he greeted as Sui Ce hurried to his side. Before he could say another word, Sui Ce embraced him tightly.

"Lang’er, you’re alive—you’re really alive!" Releasing him, Sui Ce examined him anxiously, then, seeing no harm, sighed in relief. "Where’s your mother? Why isn’t she with you? All this time, I’ve searched for you both. What happened? Where did you go? Why did you leave me behind?"

Sui Ce had always been self-centered, retaining a childlike heart even in middle age. Life had been smooth for him; only his wife’s absence ever brought him sorrow.

Sui Gaolang could not help but sigh—his son had suffered far more than he ever had. Yet how could he fault his father for it?

"Father, Mother…" Sui Gaolang looked at his father’s radiant joy, feeling almost too pained to speak. But Sui Ce understood in a heartbeat; in less than a second, his eyes turned red.

"What happened?" The excitement vanished from Sui Ce’s face; he was transformed. Struck by the news, he did not move, his voice hoarse. "Where is your mother?"

Sui Gaolang was about to answer when three people emerged from the manor: two young women and a man. With just a glance, he recognized them.

It was Ye Qianmu and her two siblings, laughing as they stepped through the gate. Ye Qianling must have said something amusing, for the others burst into laughter. But then Ye Qianling glanced ahead, her mirth vanishing instantly. The others, seeing her change, sobered as well. Ye Qiange nudged her lightly. "Hey, what’s wrong? That joke you just told was hilarious—teach it to Second Brother so he won’t bore his future wife."

But Ye Qianling did not respond. Ye Qiange glanced at Ye Qianmu, who also stared straight ahead, ignoring him. Following her gaze, he saw Sui Gaolang’s face.

Sui Ce, sensing something amiss, turned to see the three siblings. Though his expression was strained, he maintained decorum. "Third Princess, Fourth Prince, Fifth Princess, what brings you outside?"

Hearing the titles, Ye Qianmu anxiously watched Sui Gaolang’s reaction. Seeing his shock and disbelief, she was momentarily at a loss for words.

Sui Ce, noticing the strange mood between Ye Qianmu and Sui Gaolang, and the shared astonishment of Ye Qiange and Ye Qianling, introduced them. "Third Princess, this is my son, Sui Gaolang."

Ye Qianmu, taking in the scene, quickly deduced the truth. Who else but someone of the capital’s elite could dispatch so many assassins? Moreover, Sui Gaolang’s mother was the city’s most renowned courtesan—his father could hardly be a commoner.

Ye Qianling, witnessing all this, was left speechless. Ye Qiange tried to smooth things over, albeit awkwardly. "Didn’t you say you had only two sons? Who is this?"

"He is the son of the woman I love," Sui Ce replied, his voice catching. "I didn’t know of his existence until recently. I meant to bring him and his mother home, but tragedy struck before I could."

"I see," Ye Qiange nodded. Knowing Sui Gaolang’s mother’s history, he exchanged a glance with Ye Qianling, both relaxing as realization dawned.

To be the Minister of Revenue’s son—such a status made Sui Gaolang’s prospects with Ye Qianmu infinitely greater than if he were a commoner. They had worried the pair would never unite, but perhaps fate was not so unkind after all.

Yet Ye Qianmu’s expression was different from her siblings’. Grief she could not conceal shrouded her face.

At last, vengeance was at hand.

Ye Qianmu understood. For anyone, the murder of a mother could not go unavenged. Only revenge could console the dead. Yet she still hoped—hoped Sui Gaolang would not choose a path of mutual destruction.

Ordinary reunions of father and son were joyous, but after more than half a year of acquaintance, and nearly as long in love, Ye Qianmu knew Sui Gaolang well enough.

You will never truly let go of revenge. But if you pursue it, we are doomed.

Ye Qianmu approached Sui Gaolang, ignoring Sui Ce’s astonished look. "You’re still going to do it, aren’t you?" Her face was calm, but her heart bled. "You know, once you do, there will never be an ‘us’. Even so, is this truly what you want?"

Seeing Sui Gaolang’s impassive countenance, she let a hint of irony touch her delicate, gentle features. "Very well. Go ahead. I’ll pretend to know nothing. I will keep loving you, stay by your side. But when the time comes, think carefully. We could have had a beautiful future—make sure you understand what you’re giving up."

After that, the two remained together as before, but the shadow of uncertainty hung heavy. In a love with no foreseeable end, both hearts were weighed down with sorrow and doubt.

Sui Gaolang chose revenge in the end. But his blood-soaked methods were suppressed by Ye Qianchen and Sui Gaolang himself, hidden from Ye Qianmu. They did not wish her to know; after forcibly separating them, it was long before she learned the truth. She later realized her eldest brother had understood her heart and wanted to give her a pure, unblemished first love. For someone untouched by hardship, such brutality would have been too much to bear.