Chapter Ten: Renowned Throughout the Prefecture, Li the Great Grandson!
“Alright, alright, multiple-choice questions are done, now there’s an essay prompt... This isn’t a world-line simulation system at all; it’s clearly a genius student exam simulator!”
Staring at this ridiculous essay topic, Zhou Liang felt utterly powerless to complain. The essay requirements were even harder to stomach:
“And... what does it mean that he feels he’s not slick or cunning enough, so he’s worried he can’t write it? If he can’t write it, does that mean I can? Am I that cunning?!”
After stewing in frustration for a while, Zhou Liang finally managed to calm down. While grumbling, he began to seriously analyze the prompt...
The core of the essay was obviously about “gratitude” and “loyalty.” Although Zhou Liang didn’t consider himself a sly yes-man, having struggled through the martial world for many years, he was quite good at writing this kind of thing.
Isn’t it just about flattery? The old scholar was more than familiar with that!
With just a little thought, Zhou Liang came up with many possible essay topics:
For example, “The Divine Emperor Grandfather Tames the Weather,” or “The Divine Emperor Grandfather Flies Across the Sky,” or “The Divine Emperor Uses the Art of Instant Teleportation”...
Anyway, there were plenty of gratitude-themed texts. Writing a couple of those would be easy, right?
But...
“Nope.”
Zhou Liang muttered to himself, shaking his head:
“Those essays, while full of gratitude, are just simple texts for elementary students. Their depth is too shallow, and their style too childish. They don’t suit my scholar status…”
Just because younger students can write “The Divine Emperor Grandfather Used a Hemp Rope to Strangle a Hundred Thousand Rebels” doesn’t mean a scholar with official rank can write like that. After all, if a student writes that, it can be excused as “childish words but sincere meaning.” But if a scholar writes it, he’d just be laughed at as having elementary school-level writing!
“So, I must make this flattery more sophisticated...”
But how? What to flatter?
Suddenly, Zhou Liang had a stroke of inspiration:
“Got it! Praise the achievements!”
Under the Ming Dynasty, was there anyone who had been utterly vilified?
Or rather, was there anyone personally branded by the Divine Emperor as a “despicable traitor,” whose reputation could never be rehabilitated?
Of course there was—and there were three!
Chongzhen: I have experienced three betrayals!
One was Li Zicheng, another Zhang Xianzhong, and the last the notorious Lai Qinglao family...
Li Zicheng, the number one rebel of the Ming Dynasty, had a peak achievement of conquering the capital, Shuntian Prefecture, driving the not-yet-godlike Chongzhen to despair and suicide, hanging himself on the crooked tree at Coal Hill!
Zhang Xianzhong, tied for first in rebellion, destroyed the city of Zhongdu Fengyang, desecrated the Zhu ancestral tombs, and upon hearing the news, Chongzhen was reduced to tears in the capital!
And the Lai Qinglao family... no need to say more. Ever since the wild boar rebellion during the Wanli era, which Ming emperor didn’t suffer at their hands? The elite troops of the Ming were nearly wiped out by the Eight Banners...
So after the Divine Emperor’s ascension, these three suffered the worst deaths, and their reputations both in life and after death were thoroughly blackened to the point that insulting these three became a political norm in the Ming.
Among them, Li Zicheng was the first to be killed, and the slander against him was the most severe...
“More importantly, Li Zicheng is not only from northern Shaanxi but from my very own Mizhi County. Using him as an example is perfectly fitting!”
Zhou Liang knew Li Zicheng well and recognized that this Eternal Prosperity Emperor was actually quite remarkable—one of the very few true heroes on the chaotic late Ming stage!
He had military discipline, ideals, and popular support. If not for shallow foundations and a crushing defeat at Yipianshi, he could very likely have founded a new dynasty.
But history was ruthless. Not only was he defeated and killed in the original timeline, but in this strange Divine Emperor alternate history, he failed even worse—this time, he was directly pulverized by the resurrected Divine Emperor’s fists...
Zhang Xianzhong, like Li Zicheng, also rose in rebellion in Mizhi County, northern Shaanxi, making him an absolutely “unspeakable” figure in the Ming. But Zhang’s reputation was already atrocious, so people had no qualms about slandering him!
Because these two hometown rebels were branded “absolute traitors” by the Ming, the people of Mizhi County and northern Shaanxi quickly distanced themselves, severing ties as fast as possible, fearing association with traitors...
“If I want to become famous overnight, I can ride this wave of ‘blackening Li’ and ‘blackening Zhang,’ capitalizing on the local and regional loyalty-cleaving psychology, to show loyalty to the Ming and the Divine Emperor, and express gratitude... The effect will surely be good!”
“Just hope King Li Chuang can forgive me for blackening him. I have no choice... I desperately want to advance...”
Zhou Liang silently apologized to the heroic spirit of King Li Chuang:
“King Chuang, please don’t blame me. Once I overturn the Ming, I will restore your reputation... Please endure this momentary disgrace; I seek to bring light to the sun and moon and restore clarity...”
(Jiang Wei: You’re messing with my famous words, that’s totally unnecessary!)
(Li Chuang: I don’t mind! Big brother, calm down. The kid doesn’t know better and is just playing around...)
(The Western King: ...No one cares about my reputation? Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill!)
(Lai Qinglao: ...Tears well up. I’m not even worthy of a name.)
...
In short, after settling on the core and direction, Zhou Liang eagerly began writing.
Soon, a smoothly composed essay on gratitude by the old scholar was completed!
The essay tightly focused on the word “gratitude,” using the rebels Li Chuang and Xian Nao as examples and targets of sharp criticism, unfolding a righteous and stern denunciation:
First, criticizing Li Chuang for being ungrateful!
“You think the Ming is no good, then you should build it up instead of spouting cynicism while inciting the people to rebel...”
“The current Sovereign is both civil and martial, sweeping across the world with immeasurable merit, yet Li Chuang clings to petty grievances over forced taxes... Is that interesting? The Mongolian steppes aren’t even under your control, so why don’t you just go north to the desert!”
“Better to starve quietly than to futilely fight like a praying mantis! It’s truly laughable!”
Then, fabricating charges:
“Moreover, I’ve heard from unofficial histories that Li Chuang was extravagant and wasteful, living luxuriously, even requiring servants to use Western lenses to focus sunlight to light his fires... Once he burned tens of thousands of catties of charcoal at once, heating a whole pool of water just for his bath, rivaling the decadent wine pools and meat forests of Jie and Zhou!”
“There were also Western delicacies called ‘liquor-filled chocolates.’ Li Chuang, driven by his appetite, spent thousands in gold to buy seventy or eighty boxes at once, utterly careless of the suffering of the people in hunger and cold...”
“In short, Li Chuang’s crimes are ironclad!”
And the classic necromancer Zhang Xianzhong:
“As for that rebel, he was no better!”
“Xianzhong delighted in killing. Upon entering Sichuan, he slaughtered an astonishing forty million men, women, and children—a truly heinous atrocity that enraged both heaven and man!”
“Unofficial history even records that Xianzhong’s massacre was sparked simply because he had no toilet paper while relieving himself, so he tore off a nettle to wipe... which caused such pain that he exclaimed, ‘Even the grass in Sichuan is bad grass! Surely there are no good people in Sichuan!’ and proceeded to slaughter...”
“The two rebels, Chuang and Xian, have no king, no father, no people, no children. They look only to their own selfish interests! Wherever their black hands reach, the people suffer ruin and death...”
Finally, distancing himself and expressing loyalty:
“As a fellow hometown person of the two rebels, though young, I deeply feel shame!”
“This life I only wish for the Ming’s eternal glory, for the Divine Emperor to live forever. For the Ming and the Divine Emperor, I am willing to serve like a dog or horse, shedding my last drop of blood!”
“Moved to tears! The Ming’s gratitude can never be repaid!”
“Loyalty! Sincerity!”
Having finished the essay, Zhou Liang was moved to tears himself...
So loyal! So full of gratitude!
It perfectly aligned with the Ming’s official mainstream ideology, as righteous and glorious as could be... The only flaw was that if this essay were read by someone well-versed in the events of the time, it would be almost unbearably difficult to swallow...
“Alright, send it!”
[Ding! Essay received, transmitting...]
[...]
[As you ponder how best to write this essay to meet your master’s demands, a flood of text information suddenly rushes into your mind, leaving you bewildered!]
[Is... my inspiration really this strong? Am I that well-prepared?]
[With suspicion, you begin to carefully read this “stroke of inspiration” essay, and you nearly can’t hold back!]
[But no matter how hard it is to hold back, it doesn’t change the fact that the essay is indeed on point and very fitting.]
[So you resist the urge to laugh, instead using your modestly accomplished brush calligraphy to copy the gratitude essay neatly onto a blank sheet...]
[The next day, you calmly hand the essay to your master, Deputy Instructor Ding. After reading it, he finds no fault but is pleasantly surprised, praising you as a true prodigy!]
[“This essay will surely shock the entire prefecture. We’re going to make a fortune!”]
[Soon, an essay by the four-year-old prodigy case leader is publicized, quickly sparking heated discussion!]
[It is titled: “Resolutely Distancing Ourselves from the Two Traitors, Chuang and Xian!”]
[Because this essay perfectly matches the political needs of the time, everyone eagerly copied and circulated it, eager to see the prodigy’s masterful tribute. For a while, the paper in Luoyang was in hot demand...]
[After publishing, you and your master happily await the magistrate’s reward: last time, a lousy essay earned five hundred taels; this fine work should get at least... a thousand taels, right?]
[But just as you and your master anticipate the reward, a group of people you never expected soon find you...]
[“You’re the so-called prodigy who slanders King Chuang?”]
[A band of unfriendly old men blocks your way home after school.]
[A chill runs through your heart: Buhau!]
[“May I ask who you are?”]
[“Hmph!”]
[The leader of the elders smiles grimly: “Don’t think you don’t know—I'm the nephew of King Chuang, the one the Ming court has sought for over thirty years but never found...”]
[“Li’s eldest great-grandson! Li Laiheng!”]
(Zhu San Prince: I have no objections.)
...