Volume One, Chapter Seventeen: My Name is Lü Bu

My name is Lü Bu, styled Fengxian, one of the warlords at the end of the Han dynasty, the God of War of the Three Kingdoms.

I am guilty and must accuse fate of its injustice.

The heavens have grown ever more greedy, absorbing the essence and power of all living beings, yet it is not enough; they even demand that the young emperor of Eastern Han provide a vast number of humans for their amusement.

For the Eastern Han, beset by internal strife and external threats, this was nothing short of a catastrophe.

But defiance meant the collapse of the Han dynasty itself and branded the young emperor a sinner for eternity.

Thus, the era saw the rise of numerous warlords.

My sworn father, Dong Zhuo, desperate to change the tide, deposed the young emperor and installed Liu Xie as the new ruler.

How could we possibly surrender so many people for the heavens' pleasure? What are the heavens, anyway?

By what right do they steal the essence that belongs to the human realm?

That day, burning with righteous passion, I met my sworn father Dong Zhuo.

His bold proposal struck a deep chord within me.

It aligned perfectly with my desire to break free from the heavens' control.

Following his plan, I killed Ding Yuan.

From that moment on, he took me as his sworn son.

But one day, a woman’s arrival shattered our illusions about the plan’s execution.

"General Lü, you’ve finally arrived," Minister of Works Wang Yun invited me to his residence for a gathering.

"Not at all, Brother Wang Yun, you flatter me," I replied respectfully with a bow, then took my seat.

Once I was settled, Wang Yun spoke, "Today, I’ve invited you here to enjoy a new troupe of dancers I have recruited."

Upon hearing this, I was restless. Wang Yun was admirable in many ways, but his lecherous nature disgusted me.

Still, to not spoil his mood, I nodded in agreement.

Shortly after, dozens of dancers appeared before me, their steps rich with local flavor.

As the wine flowed through several rounds, I became thoroughly intoxicated.

Then, my nightmare arrived—she entered wearing a flowing white gown.

Amidst the dancers, she exuded elegance, stealing my gaze entirely.

That night, under Wang Yun’s deliberate arrangement, I fell into a tender embrace.

Thus, I gained my own wife—Diao Chan.

At first, she was gentle and understanding, listening to my complaints and massaging me when I was weary.

However, as time passed, her true purpose surfaced.

She began poisoning my meals with a slow-acting toxin, intending to kill me gradually!

My sworn father saw through her scheme and tried to warn me.

"Fengxian, she means to harm you!"

"Sworn father, what nonsense are you talking about? How could my Chan betray me?" I replied.

"Have you not noticed something wrong with your health?"

"And what does that have to do with him?" At that time, lost in my infatuation, I refused to listen. "The war has been relentless, and I’m simply aging, losing my strength."

Seeing my obsession, my sworn father could only shake his head and leave.

I was still proud of having confronted him for the first time, unaware that my reckoning was near.

For my safety, my sworn father ruthlessly severed ties with me and forcibly took Diao Chan away with his troops.

On the battlefield, sworn father and I stood opposed.

"Why? You are my sworn father, why steal my wife?"

"Why?" Dong Zhuo sneered, sword in hand, pointing at me. "Because Diao Chan is mine!"

Without hesitation, he seized Diao Chan and plunged his sword into her body.

I could not bear the blow.

My beloved was dead, my most respected sworn father had abandoned me, and there was no one left I could trust.

My mind nearly shattered.

Wang Yun—Wang Yun was the only one I could trust now!

Yet, this very thought led me to utter failure.

He manipulated me into assassinating my sworn father.

At first, I hesitated.

But gradually, I was brainwashed into harboring hatred for him.

Indeed, he killed my wife and deceived me!

Even the territories I painstakingly won were stolen!

How was this any different from the brutal, bloodthirsty heavens?

Under such relentless manipulation, I allied with Wang Yun, Shi Sun Rui, and Yang Zan to assassinate my sworn father.

I arrogantly pleaded for forgiveness, plotting a grand scheme to kill him.

Seeing me humbled and bloodied, my sworn father softened, perhaps believing I had truly reformed, and reinstated me as his right hand.

But he did not know it was all a ruse.

Today, the moment had finally come.

When I lured Dong Zhuo to the North Gate, he sensed something amiss and wanted to retreat, but I persuaded him otherwise.

Trusting my martial prowess, he entered.

This was his fatal mistake.

Once inside, Li Su thrust his spear at Dong Zhuo, who was wounded and thrown from his chariot, shouting, "Where is Lü Bu?"

Me?

He murdered my wife, yet he expected me to protect him?!

At last, my true colors emerged.

I stood behind him, wielding my halberd, shouting:

"Dong Zhuo, who consorted with the heavens and slaughtered countless lives, has been executed by me, Lü Bu!"

My sworn father looked at me in disbelief.

But my gaze was filled with utter contempt.

Evil men reap what they sow!

For killing my wife and seizing my domain, even if you were my sworn father, death was your due!

Yet he did not blame me.

Instead, he forced the halberd from my grasp, turned to me with eyes full of relief and boundless gentleness.

He—he touched my face!

Why did he touch me? What did that expression mean? Was he repenting his past decisions?

Yes, just so!

My face was resolute, but when my sworn father spoke, my worldview was shattered.

"Fengxian, I do not blame you; all I said was true," he coughed, blood slowly trickling from the corner of his mouth. "Wang Yun betrayed me long ago. Diao Chan was merely a bait he set. Didn’t you notice he made no move after her death? He was using you as a pawn."

"Nonsense!" I refused to believe his words, but why would a dying man lie to me? "He couldn’t kill you himself, so he needed my help."

Hearing this, my sworn father smiled sadly, then looked toward Wang Yun, Shi Sun Rui, and Yang Zan.

"Since I am already dead, I beg you to spare my young sworn son."

"Rest assured!" Wang Yun revealed his true face. "I will treat your simple-minded sworn son well!"

This so-called Wang Yun was a lackey arranged by the heavens!

Why? Why was everyone using me?

My mind went blank. Had I truly killed my sworn father?

But Diao Chan, my sworn father—why?

My thoughts spiraled into a dead end, on the verge of collapse.

Now, there was truly no one left to trust.

Hearing this, my sworn father wasted no time, unleashing his energy and charging wildly at the three men.

"Fengxian, run! I’ll take them down with me!"

Boom!

An explosion rang out.

Before he could reach them, his body ruptured from the chaotic energy within, and he died.

"Sworn father…"

Their eyes turned to me, filled with murderous intent.

But weren’t we on the same side?

They wouldn’t kill me, would they?

I still had value to them. Yes, I was still useful.

After all, I had helped them kill my sworn father.

My thoughts were in turmoil until a sharp pain in my abdomen brought me back to reality.

With the help of Red Hare, I escaped their pursuit.

Yet my spirit was broken, wandering aimlessly until Cao Cao caught me, and I died beneath the White Gate Tower.

What pains me most is that I died at the hands of the heavens’ lackeys.

But perhaps this is my fate.

I did not struggle.

This is where my journey ends—I should have died long ago, right there before the North Gate.

I am guilty.

I killed my sworn father...